Tuesday, February 24, 2015

It's a Winter Weather Event of Enormous Magnitude! by Guiness the Cat

Guiness the Cat


Hello, this is Guiness the Cat. It's a catastrophe! It's horrible, I tell you! Horrible!

Outside is broken! It's broken! It's the worst winter weather event all year!


This is what I woke up to this morning. Snow blanketing the ground!



Well, part of it anyway.

Things have not been this bad since last year! This isn't supposed to happen to my Outside.



We are completely snowed in!

I may starve to death before it all melts! We were supposed to get into the 40s F today, but at mid-afternoon it was still below freezing. And supposedly supposed to snow tons again tomorrow. Tons!

See for yourself just how bad it was when I went outside.




Guiness the Cat


I'm not putting up with this. I'm going back inside before I die of hypothermia and look up the address of that groundhog.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat


***

Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.
Photo (c) 2015 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

The Sorry State of my IT Department, by Guiness the Cat

Guiness the Cat

Now where did all those "For Dummies" books get off to?

Oh, sorry. I was a bit distracted. Hello, this is Guiness the Cat, and I would like to take this opportunity to bemoan what I have to put up with.

Most of you who know me know that, while I am famous, I am, inexplicably, not rich. I don't understand why, but I'm not. That means cutting corners, and in my case, that includes the IT department.

You make do with what you have.

I have Debbi.

And while we're talking about me being famous but not rich, I should point out that this post does contain referral links because, after all, I do need cat food money. And an IT department.

Now, I have to admit that Debbi is reasonably intelligent. For a human. Being famous, I, of course, have better things to do (sleep, for instance) than waste my time on all the technical aspects of stardom. So while I may devote time to posing for pictures and playing an action hero in blockbuster YouTube videos (why haven't more people watched those, anyway?), I am above uploading the resulting files to the internet. It's boring, it's time consuming, and it's no fun whatsoever.

In other words, that's Debbi's job. I make beautiful pictures. She puts them where they are supposed to go. I get more famous, and sadly not much richer.

Debbi is hardly a techie, but she does get the job done and she works cheap, so she'll do for the moment.

So anyway, a little while back, our pastor needed some help getting the videos off the internal memory on his camcorder. So Debbi volunteered to burn them to a disc for him. After all, she does this sort of thing for me all the time. How hard could it possibly be? It's just a simple matter of moving files from one place to another.

Really. It was. Honest.

Debbi doesn't have an actual camcorder. She has an HTC smart phone that takes video. She has a Canon DSLR that takes HD video. And she has one of those one of those huge Tyrannosaurus Rex video cameras from the 80s that uses full-size video tapes and weighs 584 pounds. Same thing, right?

Well, maybe not the dinosaur VHS thing, but other than that.

So she brings the camcorder home, hooks it up to the computer, tinkers around a little, finds some photos, and slides them right over to  the computer. Easy as pie.

Now for the videos.

She tinkered around some more and easily figured out how to play the videos. But she couldn't figure out how to access the files to manage them.

The manual was not in the camera bag, so off we merrily go to find one on the internet (and earn Bing search points in the process). Half a penny richer, she has the Manual downloaded to her computer and is merrily skimming through until she finds just the part she needs, and she's all excited because the very next paragraph is going to tell her how to import movies, and she gets there and it says … (wait for it) … please see Handbook.

So off she goes to earn more Bing search points finding the handbook, and then she skims through it, all excited, to the part where it's about to tell her how to import movies, and she gets there and it says … (wait for it) … please see Guidebook.

So off she goes to earn still more Bing search points finding the guidebook, several pennies richer by this time (because if you're going to be dumb, you might as well make money off of it.). Third time's the charm. Never mind that she has three books that say pretty much the exact same thing, the third one is going to tell her how to import video files.

And it did. Several different ways, in fact.

It was all here! Epiphany after epiphany!

She couldn't get any of them to work. What good are half a dozen epiphanies if none of them work?

She read and reread and tried and retried. Nothing.

Several days later, she admitted defeat and decided she couldn't do anything without either installing the software (which was nowhere to be found), buying a USB adapter, or divine intervention.

Divine intervention stepped in. "Ask somebody besides Sony how to import video from a Sony camcorder," God told her.

So she did. A few more Bing points later, she had a nice simple video tutorial that explained almost everything simply and clearly.

Except the part about how to get past that Connected notice on the camcorder screen. No matter what she tried, the only way to see anything on the camcorder other than the Connected screen was to disconnect. (And she actually tried that. More than once. It didn't work any of those times.)

I'm pretty sure I heard God sigh very loudly before He said, "Look on the computer."

Sure enough, she looked on the computer, and there was a nice little removable disk icon. And when she clicked on it, she found a nice little folder with all the nice little video files.

Copy. Paste. She was right. It was just a simple matter of moving files from one place to another.

The whole thing--after she found the folder--took maybe three or four minutes for the content of the folder to transfer.

And only two weeks to find the folder.

Debbi has posted a "For Dummies"-ish tutorial on Persona Paper, mostly for herself so she will remember what to do if she does it again. It's not an official "For Dummies" tutorial, but it should be considering Debbi wrote it. Feel free to tell her 178 ways she could have done it easier and quicker.

She's quite proud of herself. I'm not sure why. Now she's off to burn the videos, photos, the Manual, the Handbook, and the Guidebook to a blank DVD. Let's hope it doesn't take another two weeks.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat.

***

Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.
Photo (c) 2013 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Happy Birthday to Debbi

Guiness the Cat


This is Guiness the Cat wishing Debbi a happy belated birthday.

I would have wished her a happy birthday on her actual birthday if she would have stayed home long enough.

I was kind enough to share my free sandwich with her that Firehouse Subs so sweetly gave me for her birthday. That was very thoughtful of them, I thought. I love roast beef and provolone. I found the bread, lettuce, and olives completely unnecessary, so I gave them to Debbi. After all, it was her birthday, and I didn't buy her anything.

I have coupons to get me much more free food for Debbi's birthday, and I'll try to do reviews on what I get my paws on. Be sure to connect with me on social media so you won't miss anything! I'm on Facebook, Tsu, Google+, and Twitter, but some of them I'm stuck sharing an account with Debbi. But that's okay because while you're there, you can tell her happy birthday yourself and ask her where your free food is.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

***

Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.

Photo (c) 2015 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.

Monday, February 2, 2015

What Does Beau Know?

Groundhog Day
"Let me in! It's cold out here!"
This is Guiness the Cat.

I'd like to know who General Beauregard Lee thinks he is.

That overgrown rodent works one day a year. The rest of the time, he apparently lounges around his white-columned mansion at the Yellow River Game Ranch in Lilburn, Georgia, watching PBS nature shows via his own personal satellite dish.

Why should he get his own holiday? I am a much more productive member of society.

 Personally, I think he's been spending his time watching something besides nature shows. He claims that since he didn't see his shadow, it's going to be an early spring.

That's the same thing the rodent said last year.

He lied.

Like any good TV weatherman, Beauregard Lee gets paid well to be wrong.

I don't care that the critter has been declared an honorary Doctor of Weather Prognostication by the University of Georgia, or that Georgia State University made him an honorary Doctor of Southern Groundology.

Honorary doctorates are what they give to people (and groundhogs) too lazy to go actually learn stuff.

I pondered for awhile on why they call this obese rodent a groundhog, anyway, since he bears no resemblance to bacon other than being a ham. I have come to the conclusion that it's because this fat squirrel, who is afraid of his own shadow, hogged all the acorns on the ground.

I suppose anybody that fat ought to be afraid of their own shadow.

It's cold outside. I think I'll snuggle up on my human and watch "Groundhog Day". Need a copy of the DVD? (This is a referral link.)

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

***

Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.

Photo (c) 2015 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.